God is great. He is all powerful. He chooses people for situations and tasks and He does know all. I believe that.
I hear a lot "landon is so lucky to have you." "He has the best mom he could ever have." "That's why you are a speech pathologist."
People say those things without thinking and they do mean well. If Landon was born on the west side where I work, he would not have moved along at all. He would not be half the child he is at all. I know that. I am so glad that God entrusted him to me, and me to him. He is truly like the half to my soul because I understand him so well. But the people on the west side would not be worried, they would not feel sick all the time, and they would not be involved in every part of his care/treatment. God has a reason for this.
I want to be unstuck. That is what I want. I feel like Landon and I are on a mouse trap or something and we can't move ahead. Hell, even if we wanted to find our arms, or our legs, we can't because silly motor planning makes this too difficult. We can't show all we know and most people don't take the time to find out from him.
Then I met a friend named Laura. She gets it. We do a lot of "me too" and "I know what you mean."
That is God saying.. i know you are hurting and alone, so here is a friend to get you through this.
That is how God works. He has always saved me when I needed it and he will get me and Landon out of this, to a place where we can be all we are, and we can feel happy because others will notice and realize. We will get there.