Monday, June 30, 2014
How do you rename a blog?
Well, Today, Logan had more testing for his upcoming 6 months thing. He is getting an OT eval soon. He is looking at speech 2x per week, OT 2x per week, not sure on PT. There was talk of a teacher to work on play skills, but he is only 14 months. Maybe I am missing something. Blah. It was dejavu. Oh he can't show that he knows this or that because he can't motor plan the actions. He can't point yet. He can only isolate his thumb and then there is the guilt. Why is this happening? I can't spend as much time with him as I did with Landon, since there are two of them. He is starting to get frustrated that he can't do something. It is frustrating. Anyways, this blog should be landon and logan journey. Sad :(
blood work
I am nervous now. Landon is getting his blood drawn right now, and i hate that I had to send him for that. Poor baby. I told him he was going to the doctor's, but I am not sure what he understood. He happily left with Dada, probably think there was a park involved. We took him to a naturopath in Watertown a week ago. We had to be there at 9am and left at 745. Landon was so good in the car and we never travel a distance since we are so close to everything here. He and I sang songs, practiced with his Touch chat, and we had some snacks. He was a doll. He got there and he hates doctors, but he went in all happy. I brought toys and he played in the office while we talked to her. She felt like maybe he would fall on the old PDD-NOS, but he doesn't typical ASD. She felt he was very connected and engaged. She was curious on the impact of vaccines, diet, toxins, etc, so she ordered a lot of bloodwork. Soon we will know if he has the MTHFR mutation, or in deficient in a nutrition, what allergies he has, etc. This will he helpful. Since then, we are trying to cut out the processed foods. Very difficult, when in Syracuse, healthy eating is not the fad. I will let you know the results, to my readers :)
I hope he was ok- lots of appointments lately and then today is beginning our summer therapy schedule. Boo!!
XO
I hope he was ok- lots of appointments lately and then today is beginning our summer therapy schedule. Boo!!
XO
Friday, June 27, 2014
It will be ok
This ride is a roller coaster. Sometimes bright spots can seem hard to find, but you gotta embrace them. Today is Landon's last day at daycare. He runs in everyday, happy as can be, likes to help take the chairs down since he's the first one there. He's ok for me to go. Last year, when he first started, I was home on maternity leave, and saw the kids walk by my house. Each kid holds part of a group rope and I was frantically looking for Landon. I couldn't find him. He was about half a house behind, sprawled out on the sidewalk. He wasn't used to walking up to an hour, holding this rope, and he couldn't tell anyone this was his house they were passing. Today Alex yelled that he was walking by. There he was, holding the rope with everyone else. He is such a good rule follower. I made an excuse to go find him and drove by as he was waiting to cross the street. I pulled out, put the window down, and yelled "hi Landon". He turned and beamed. He looked at his teacher, then waved to me with just one hand, I blew him a kiss, he blew one back. In that moment, I thought "everything will be ok."
Thursday, June 26, 2014
Am I just in denial?
I don't know. I see some signs of ASD, but I feel they can be explained due to lack of speech and then some sensory concerns. am I just in denial? Is he just at the wrong place? so much is so hard to understand because he can't communicate. He got mad that the SLP did not bring the Kaufman cards today. I guess she had some other cards, but not the ones they have been using. He started crying and he hit her. I am guessing if he could say it, he might say other cards, or where are they? and why she did not have them? i have no idea. I still feel like his target words are so wishy washy. Why are we introducing new words, if the others are not there yet?
Anyways, the SLP said Landon is now obsessed with the clock. We have clocks here- haven't seen that. She said he is liking to put an item on the table and then duck up and down to look at it. And she is hearing less words than a few weeks ago. I sort of agree with that, but there are days he is very verbal. I think that is part of the apraxia.
Signs:
Visual stims
Likes letters/numbers/shapes
Lack of expressive language
difficulty with pretend play, but emerging is there
Trouble initiating play with peers
Hates the doctor
Does not always follow directions, even though i know he understands them
Could all of that be explained by cas and spd? and let's be honest. It doesn't matter. he is who he is and I will still have the same treatment.
But anyways, I am feeling like a change come September sounds good to me...
Anyways, the SLP said Landon is now obsessed with the clock. We have clocks here- haven't seen that. She said he is liking to put an item on the table and then duck up and down to look at it. And she is hearing less words than a few weeks ago. I sort of agree with that, but there are days he is very verbal. I think that is part of the apraxia.
Signs:
Visual stims
Likes letters/numbers/shapes
Lack of expressive language
difficulty with pretend play, but emerging is there
Trouble initiating play with peers
Hates the doctor
Does not always follow directions, even though i know he understands them
Could all of that be explained by cas and spd? and let's be honest. It doesn't matter. he is who he is and I will still have the same treatment.
But anyways, I am feeling like a change come September sounds good to me...
Monday, June 23, 2014
What am I missing?
I think I know I am missing out of something. I read my friend, Kate's, blog at Finding Cooper's Voice, and her 16 month old is advanced, not just advanced for a child with another kiddo with some difficulty, but he is advanced all over the place. I have two children who both have speech delays, low normal tone, and other issues. I am missing out. I realize I am not going to be able to understand what it was like to just have your child crawl without actually teaching them. I am working with Logan on self feeding. He picks up the food, but he doesn't have the shoulder stability to bring to his mouth. If you leave food hanging out of his mouth, he will bring his hand up and push it in, so he has parts of that, but not yet all. That is a struggle. He is taking steps now and that's awesome. He is so motivated to walk. He is not yet babbling, just uses some vowel sounds.
Landon is 33 months today. In some ways, I am so proud of him, and I always tell myself, that this is not his fault anyways, but it's so hard to see sometimes, especially with other kids. He is so far behind. It's scary, because I worry, if he doesn't make more progress over the summer, he will turn 3, being well over a year behind in all developmental areas. I am scared out of my mind. I go to counseling on Tuesdays and usually just repeat, "It's just not fair." and it's not. I see other kids who just can see a ball and say ball, no problem. They repeat things easily. It's not fair and I am doing this twice. I am not going to be able to just see my kids do things without a lot of work.
I am thankful they are both happy and healthy.
Just keep praying.
Landon is 33 months today. In some ways, I am so proud of him, and I always tell myself, that this is not his fault anyways, but it's so hard to see sometimes, especially with other kids. He is so far behind. It's scary, because I worry, if he doesn't make more progress over the summer, he will turn 3, being well over a year behind in all developmental areas. I am scared out of my mind. I go to counseling on Tuesdays and usually just repeat, "It's just not fair." and it's not. I see other kids who just can see a ball and say ball, no problem. They repeat things easily. It's not fair and I am doing this twice. I am not going to be able to just see my kids do things without a lot of work.
I am thankful they are both happy and healthy.
Just keep praying.
Friday, June 13, 2014
Being minimally verbal is ostracizing.
I think of my sweet boy, listening to everyone speak around him, listening to kids younger than him be able to say hi and bye, or their name, or sing along to the songs he loves so very much, but there he is, with a big smile, always hugging his teachers or his therapists, happy, and trying so hard. He is my hero. I can't imagine what he is going through on the inside. I always think it's about me. I get so caught up in what everyone thinks when they see us out, at the park, at church, when they notice he can't talk well. I think everyone must think something is off with him. I don't know. It's a horrible, horrible feeling I hate going on FB and reading everyone's statuses about what their kids are saying. I even hate seeing them kicking a ball, because I know landon can't. So I have hid over 20 people who have kids anywhere near or younger than my son. It is easier for me. But really it's not about me!! It is about my baby and making him feel happy and successful. I have to remember that, but if his Momma is not crying over reading a fb status, then she can attend to him more, and that is what he needs.
I see him at daycare and he tries to join in. They were looking at some caterpillars yesterday with a magnifying glass. He went over there, pointed and said something, no one barely looked up, and he walked away and went to play alone. Ahh. Next year, he will have a lot more teachers, so i know he won't just be left behind. It's hard to watch. he actually is smarter than all of them. He's intuitive and kind and he's my everything.
I see him at daycare and he tries to join in. They were looking at some caterpillars yesterday with a magnifying glass. He went over there, pointed and said something, no one barely looked up, and he walked away and went to play alone. Ahh. Next year, he will have a lot more teachers, so i know he won't just be left behind. It's hard to watch. he actually is smarter than all of them. He's intuitive and kind and he's my everything.
Friday, June 6, 2014
Landon's goal
I haven't had a chance to sit and blog. I have been barely getting by, but here I am, with 3 weeks left to this school year. I sat on the other side of the table this week. I went to Landon's CPSE meeting and heard a lot of positives and negatives. It was hard to take. My friend, Kate, described her meeting as someone just saying horrible, mean things to hurt you, and you just sit there and take it, but then learn it is true. I sit these things all the time. I throw out words like significant delay, atypical, not at age level, etc, and I don't think twice. To hear those words with your son's name in it, is a dagger to the heart. It does hurt. But there were positives, including: sweet, affectionate, loves the teachers he is with, happy, very smart, has a great memory, wants to be right there with his peers, will try to copy others if he can, and most importantly, he is LOVED. They talked a lot about he was born into the right home, and as an SLP, I don't really want to hear that. I didn't ask to have this many struggles and figured my kids would do everything easily, but it was nice to hear that they know I will do ANYTHING for my Landon, anything. I cried some; they passed me some tissues; my hubby spoke up on some things which was good, and overall the deficits are many: delayed expressive, delayed fine motor, visual motor, definite differences in sensory processing, slight delayed in social emotional skills, frustration, repetitive play, and trouble with transitions.
Landon will be going to Bernice Wright school in the fall. It is associated with Jowonio, which is a fully inclusive school. I really wanted Landon with typical peers to hear the language and do well with adult support.
He will go 9-12 monday-friday and gets speech 4x, OT 2x, PT 2x, and I got a music therapy eval too :) :) so that is pending.
Here are his goals. I am hopeful he can meet them all:
Landon will be going to Bernice Wright school in the fall. It is associated with Jowonio, which is a fully inclusive school. I really wanted Landon with typical peers to hear the language and do well with adult support.
He will go 9-12 monday-friday and gets speech 4x, OT 2x, PT 2x, and I got a music therapy eval too :) :) so that is pending.
Here are his goals. I am hopeful he can meet them all:
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