Friday, March 13, 2015

hiding yourself and thoughts

Ok, how many of us SN moms hide ourselves?  I do sometimes.  I don't want to hear about your perfect kid mastering a 5 year old skill at 3 or whatever.  I don't care to know you potty trained your 18 month old. how awesome your mom is able to watch your kiddos for you while you work- I don't want to tell you how much  money I spend on daycare, but here is the truth:

I keep thinking about this a lot.  I am tough.  No strong person was built by living an easy life- there is just no way.  That's why I like my job, always different, always changing, new kids, new lives, and kids who don't even get speech who need me, who I help, who I teach that although their lives are tough, they are tougher.  I tell kids seriously on a weekly basis, you can make it.  You can be somebody.  I have told kids who cares if you can't learn a skill that school says you have to, most importantly you have to be kind to others, and the rest will fall into place.  I do believe that.  We have to put out there what we want to get back.  Off fb, there is time to think about life, about the meaning, about the end, about what I am trying to achieve.  One thing I have thought of lately is that parenting is about us as much as them.  I want my kids to enjoy coloring Easter eggs because I did, because it was part of my tradition; it's a way to pass on my mom.  Last year, I did it with Landon, very, very late, and there were tears, probably from both of us.  I know my nephew did it with no issue, and I thought I want that, but that's not mine, so I have to adapt.  This year, we are going to practice before we do it so we feel more confident and I will print the steps in visual pictures, so my kids know how much more we have to do.  We can do it.  I can adapt for them. On Christmas Eve, I begged Landon, please let me read you the night before Christmas, please, please (in my head i begged), and he did, and it was great and it was perfect snuggles just us.  Parenting is just as much about us.  We want those moments in our memories.  We want to enjoy this time. I do know there is a part of us also that just wants to survive it.

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