Wednesday, April 15, 2015

The sometimes this sucks post

I have a few feelings about having both my boys being "delayed."  One is that it would completely break my heart into a million pieces for Landon if Logan was talking now as expected.  I would feel so sad for Landon who is so aware and working so hard.  The other thought is wow that would be so much easier, what a nice language model for Landon, and of course, I would not want Logi to struggle.  They do get each other though.  This is our "normal."  I am not ashamed of them and they are not of each other.  The boys are always hugging and kissing and loving on each other.  They are blessed.

Look at Landon's therapy schedule:

Private speech 720-750Am

OT 9:00-9:39

Speech 9:30-10:00


Music therapy 8:00-8:30

9:00-9:30 Speech

10:30- OT

11:30 PT


Private Speech 720-750


Music tx 745-815

Speech 10:00-10:30

PT 11:00-11:30


Speech 9:00-9:30

OT 11:00-11:30
I get overwhelmed looking at it, then think how proud I am of him for trying so hard. 
Logan's schedule is such
Tues: 8:00-8:30 PT
8:30-9:00 Speech
7:45-8:15 teacher
8:30-9:00 speech
3:00-3:30- ot
8:00-8:30 PT
2:45-3:15 OT
I wish I could afford more speech for him, but Iwill be home with him this summer and I can do it.  Logan's ability to follow directions is so much more impaired than Landon's is/was.  He understands things the louder I speak, so maybe the fluid in his ears is impacting him.  He gets an ABR/tubes in ear most likely on June 9th.  I was able to say "Where is Landon?" and he is off looking for him. "let's go outside" off he went.  Yesterday I said "give this to Daddy." and he did, so there is some understanding.  Pointing is hard for him. He is now pointing more often for food, especially Kix.  He really likes to be with the other kids.
One weird thing I have been thinking of is the term "inclusive."  At the beginning, of the year, for Landon's school, we had to make a thing saying what we want for Landon as an adult, who do we want him to be.  I put a lot down, but the main thing I said was "happy and confident in whoever he is."  I saw some other kid in his class; the mother put down inclusive.  She wants him to be inclusive and then I thought she is being inclusive now by "letting" her kid in classes with kids like my kid.  I thought maybe people think this is so great, to be with special needs kid.  Look, guys, my little man is inclusive. He has friends in wheelchairs, w/ down syndrome, and there is a book in his class who uses an Ipad to say his name at circle time.  I don't know why that bothers me.  I don't want my babies to be the kids who make these kids more well rounded, or feel like we offer something to them they can't find in their own homes, since all their kids are typical. Boo. Maybe bad mood.  To me, my kids are just like anyone else.  They don't need to be "included" for the sake of it.  All kids, anywhere, just need acceptance. All people should be inclusive without being taught, but we know that is not the case.
We march on.

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