Friday, June 13, 2014

Being minimally verbal is ostracizing.

I think of my sweet boy, listening to everyone speak around him, listening to kids younger than him be able to say hi and bye, or their name, or sing along to the songs he loves so very much, but there he is, with a big smile, always hugging his teachers or his therapists, happy, and trying so hard.  He is my hero.  I can't imagine what he is going through on the inside.  I always think it's about me.  I get so caught up in what everyone thinks when they see us out, at the park, at church, when they notice he can't talk well.  I think everyone must think something is off with him.  I don't know.  It's a horrible, horrible feeling  I hate going on FB and reading everyone's statuses about what their kids are saying.  I even hate seeing them kicking a ball, because I know landon can't.  So I have hid over 20 people who have kids anywhere near or younger than my son.  It is easier for me.  But really it's not about me!! It is about my baby and making him feel happy and successful.  I have to remember that, but if his Momma is not crying over reading a fb status, then she can attend to him more, and that is what he needs.

I see him at daycare and he tries to join in.  They were looking at some caterpillars yesterday with a  magnifying glass.  He went over there, pointed and said something, no one barely looked up, and he walked away and went to play alone.  Ahh.  Next year, he will have a lot more teachers, so i know he won't just be left behind.  It's hard to watch.  he actually is smarter than all of them.  He's intuitive and kind and he's my everything.

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