It never ends

I thought it was all over, the testing, the constant worrying, since I could not be at any of the testing, but it continues.  The psychologist did an observation on my sweet child yesterday at daycare, at the daycare where there are no visual cues or any way for him to communicate at all, at all.  He was observed pointing to the numbers he likes, he kissed a picture on the wall, I guess he spun a toy plate, and then he was rolling the people inside the dollhouse.  He also opened and closed his hand, which is an overflow from motor planning the OT said to me.  It's funny, because I honestly don't see these behaviors at home, and I think it's because it is easy to interact with me and I understand him.  He was able to speak some more when she was him at daycare and she said he was very happy.  he refused to imitate a play scheme for the psychologist, but he will do that with providers that he knows.  Anyways, now she wants to come do an Autism rating scale tonight. I could barely sleep last night, my head spinning, hearing ritualistic, self directed, hyperlexic, words that keep replaying.  It's funny, because if it is a typical kid and they know their numbers, it's amazing, but once it's a kiddo not really talking, that is not the case.  It's annoying.  I am trying to think what to do.  I don't want that scale into his paperwork and I will not be seeking out a diagnosis.  In NYS, he would get the maximum amount of services with a preschooler with a disability label and that is what I intend to do.  I don't think you can turn off ASD and my son is a different kid home with me, or with people who take time to get to know him.  He also seeks out interactions with adults constantly, but much harder with peers.

So yes- language delay.
Some sensory concerns
some repetitive behaviors
I get it, but I still think that new DSM can over identify. 

So still thinking what to do about tonight...

I am so unsure.

I am just so over all this.

I want to love all over my boy and praise him for being who he is.