Been forever

Sometimes I think of what it would be like to start therapy at 3.  Maybe it would be more guilt ridden, thinking i did not know do more earlier, or maybe it would be less redundant.  Landon has a winged scapula, his hips, legs, trunk, etc, are not all aligned the way they should be.  This is due to the hypotonia and his body trying to compensate.  He is quite smart trying to figure out how to make it work.  Sometimes I think wow he ran, or jumped, or kicked, and it is so much harder for his body than another kid, and yet there he goes.  Anyways, a lot of the therapy is laying in extension swings, working prone in a bolster, wheelbarrow walking, work on the therapy ball, and that's all great, but I have been doing that kind of work for almost 2 years.  He has come a long way with wheelbarrow, with less support now, and can get into 3 yoga positions even (thank you low tone body ;)), but sometimes, it's just hard to hear. I just thinking man we have been doing this for 2 years at least and still are not where I want to be.  I know it's a process, but it's exhausting.  He has been so sick lately and then not speaking as much, and I hate that.  2 weeks ago, he was doing great.  This process is lonely, heartbreaking, joyful, and hard work.  Being a mom is such hard work, but a mom to boys with "needs" is much harder.  A lot of people could not handle it.  I know that.  Logi is feeling better and doing great.  He has been making good progress the last week or so since he got better.  Hopefully Landon's turn for feeling better soon.

me