Struggles

We all have them.

I had a perfect childhood.   I would not change a thing.  Most things came really easy to me, and I worked hard for things that were important to me (schoolwork).

My mom got sick when I was 17 and those years were a struggle.  It was a bonding experience too.  It is hard to explain unless you  have been there.  We were so close even before she was sick, and I do miss her so so so so so much.

Now I am a mom.  I would not give up my kids to have my mom back.  That is hard to say.  Prior to having kids, I would have given anything for my mom back, anything/anyone.  My kids are my life now, and it is not an easy life.  You want to guide them to be the best they can be, support them, push them along, and make sure they are happy, all while fighting apraxia.  It is so difficult.  We will get through it.  I know that.  They will speak.  I will be proud and God willing, I will get some time to myself when my kids are grown, to travel, volunteer, and spend my time as I wish.


My cousin is in jail right now.  She has been fighting a drug addiction for a long time.  She has had struggles, but had turned to drugs to mask the pain.  I went to see her last night with my sister.  I am overwhelmed in my own life, but offered to and I do mean it, help in any way I can, anyway.  I will be there for her.  I love her.  Family is everything to me.  We can all do what we can do to help make the world a better place.  For me, I try to inspire and support others.  I am not perfect, nor is my life, but I have been blessed with good coping strategies and a mom who showed me how to die with dignity and grace.  Those lessons will serve me for a lifetime.  Point of this post?  Not sure.  We all struggle.  We all hurt for something, and some times it is in a cycle, so maybe the pain I have is now, but it won't last forever.  I do know that God heals all wounds, and it is only through Him, that pain turns into joy.


Happy New Year everyone...