Coming out with it

I started this post a few times, but lately I have to say something.  Landon is not nearly 2 and babbling with some random words; now, he is almost 3 and it is definitely easy to tell he is way behind in expressive language.  I feel like most who spend time with us see how well he understands and tries to talk, but he is so hard to understanding and there's a lot of made up words that seem to mean something, but it's hard to tell.  I have had to say things lately.  it's awful.  I saw a friend I  had not seen since Lan was 18 months a couple weeks ago.  I told her.  I had to tell nannies, even said something to someone, a teacher, the other day who never heard of it.  Oh, I had to tell the photographer who took the kids pics last weekend,... Today we have a bbq with friends. A friend of mine I went to grad school with will be there.  I will have to say apraxia and she will know what it means.  Even SLPs often don't realize that apraxia is often global and often has a sensory component, so we shall see.
Anyways, I have been in hiding,but can't be forever.  Maybe next is education.

Busy getting ready for school

Landon's preschool is free for him, since he is going as a special needs kid.  I thought I would save money, but it will be at least $450 a week for both the boys by the time this is done.

so far, this is what I have

Monday
Lori and Jim (inlaws) Am 7:15- drop him off at school at 9
Julie- one lady I hired, to pick him up at 12, feed lunch, he will nap at her house $11 an hour

Tuesday- Looking for nanny- interviewing today-
Will be at my house at 715, stay, maybe drive him, Clean, have lunch ready, etc, leave by 3.  I hope she will take like $8 an hour.

Wednesday AM- Nanny interviewing today would arrive to house by 715, stay with him, bring to school
Lori and Jim pickup noon, bring him to my house, lunch, nap, leave when we get home.

Thursday and Friday will look like Monday...

I had a nanny all set up, and now for three weeks, she has not written back :( ugh. so I had to put another ad on care.com.  I hope this works out!


Busy few days-- I have a trial nanny run Monday, tues, Landon's special ed team comes to meet him, plus all the regular therapy.  Wed, back to work..


We shall see..

sick of

I am sick of the constant whining.  I notice kids who talk don't whine that much.  I always have to reassure and explain things to Landon because he can't ask questions, so we pull up somewhere and he whines, and I have to say, we are at a new doctor to help you talk and they will be doing xyz.  plus, just around the house, he whines.  How frustrating to know exactly what you want to say and can't say a damn thing.  Today is a day I would like to cry with him because he has already cried for a half hour straight today trying to say something, I have not a clue, I got out the pecs and the talker, but he was already past that point. Then he hits and hits and hits.  I can usually redirect, but today it really hurt.  I put him in timeout, which I feel sick about, and he is just crying and crying.  I got him out and he hugged me, just leaned into me, and cried. I feel so awful.  2 weeks till school starts and hopefully more progress.  Then I will be doing this all with Logan.  Somedays life sucks.

The things you would never notice

I am a stickler for details and I see everything.  I have an amazing memory which I have always enjoyed.  I haven't read the milestone lists since Landon, yet I remember ridiculous one; by 15 months, say shh with your finger to your lips.  That is a ridiculous thing.  What if a child can't even isolate the index finger by then?!? Anyways, I have most people with kids hidden on fb and that has been amazing.  On instragram, it is much harder. I forget they are out there and then boom a picture comes up. If there is something in "quotes," I assume it is something the kid said.  Gets annoying.  Anyways, if you weren't in this world, you would not see much.

I despise the 1st bday pictures with the kids feeding themselves cake.  Neither of my boys could self feed by 1 year.

I hate the straw pictures.  Just the other day, there is a kid about the age of Logan and I know the straw wasn't the point of the picture, but that is what I saw.

I see pointing.

I see smiling on command, something Landon cannot do.

I see kids saying "ooh," but their lips are rounded.

Of course, there is walking and climbing, and maybe using a potty that people find necessary to share on social media.

i am sure I don't see the other stuff, though.  I don't post my fears or my worries or my kids' deficits, so sure others don't post theirs.

But until you are in this world, you are probably missing the details.  Good for you.

Landon's favorite word and Logan's first word

Last Friday, August 8th, I heard Logan's first word.  We were in the middle of his IFSP meeting and he came over to me, gave me a hug, and said "mama." I tried not to react like a lunatic because a lot of people were over, so I gave him a big hug and said, "you're right, mama." and I smiled of course.  The SLP said I have never heard him say that, and I said he has said it three times before like when he was eating, but not at me. She was pleased.  I have not heard it since, which is what apraxia is about, but I heard it, so I was very happy :)


Landon likes to say "yea." he is so cute when he says it.  Somedays it sounds different than other days, but anyways, if he really wants something, he will nod as he gives it to you or points, like come on say yes. so today, he handed me his ipad, and was nodding his head, saying yea, yea, yea, lol. made me laugh.

Those are my stories for today.

XO

Landon my sweetie

Landon can't talk well.  He has some words he can say well and some sounds he uses well and words tend to come and go still.  Some days he talks a lot, and other days, not so much.  That's how it works right now.  That is apraxia.  He is a happy boy.  He is a very smart boy.  One thing he is doing very well is social development.  This area is hard without speech.  Ever since he was little, everyone said wow he is so social.  They say the same thing about Logan now, even moreso than Landon, but in my head, I always think, wait till he can't talk and his peers can.  It makes it hard.  Both my boys love people and kids and being around others.  Both are always looking for attention.  Anyways, when Logi was born, Landon was just 18 months old.  He could not understand there was a baby coming, and pretty much, Aunt Loo Loo brought him home and Mommy had a baby there.  He ignored Logan in the beginning.  He could help me give him a bottle if I asked, but he just was there.  When he started moving, he became more interested, and now I can say that he loves him.  even if I ask do you love Logan, he nods yes.  He kisses him all the time and tries to engage him in play nonverbally. He always wants Logan to play chase, so he hides around the corner, comes out, tries to say something to him, and runs away.  Logan gets it, and he loves it.  When Logan catches him, Landon hugs and kisses him.  Landon is my hero.  He is so brave and he keeps trying.  He is truly the sweetest boy.

Logan's IFSP

Logan is 15 months.  He had his IFSP meeting yesterday.

He is now getting for 26 weeks/6months:

52 visits speech
40 visits PT
26 visits teacher/developmental therapist.

Many goals were set including increasing overall strength, get up from floor to a stand, climb over items in his environment, self feed all foods, use a straw and open cup, start speaking, pointing, increase core strength...

Overall, he has a good team and I am happy with what he is getting.

Onward we move....